learning how to be intentional to slow down time and catch my breath

Aka: How I read one book a month + my current reads/watches no one asked for

My cats/reading buddies: Reggie & Littles

In my last entry, I talked about my complicated relationship with social media and how since disabling my personal Instagram, I have been trying to find “better*” ways of spending my time – ways that prevent doom scrolling while also allowing for healthy distraction and dissociation.

*Again, better for ME. Not putting myself on a high horse or trying to influence how someone spends their time and energy. Just being honest about my own reflection and proceeding accordingly.

For me, books have always been a way to slow down and get lost in another world or to learn, heal, and grow. In a lot of ways it satisfies a tactile need that scrolling on my phone has developed. Holding a book and turning the pages, while not as rapid as scrolling through TikTok or Instagram, has that same kind of repetition but at a significantly slower pace.

Before I launch into my little hack for reading at least one book a month, here are some ways I’m replacing phone time in general (note: not screen time because I watch a lot of TV and play videogames lol)

• Morning:

  • I TRY so hard to not scroll on my phone as soon as I wake up (and if I do I try to keep it to Pinterest), but this is a habit I have yet to break. (If you have ANY tips, please share.) Once I find myself bored of scrolling—and tired of telling myself to stop scrolling—I try to do a little workout. If not a full-on weighted workout, I at least attempt to stretch either via yoga or like how I did as a kid during P.E. Then I make tea and try to eat breakfast (yet another story for another time about my inability to eat breakfast without feeling bloated and sick, probably due to chronic stress…lol). And attempt to journal (my hand can’t keep up with my brain so I find writing difficult and tedious).

• Work breaks:

  • Rather than spend my 10- or 30-min breaks scrolling on my phone, I try reading a book. That doesn’t always mean I’m successful because sometimes I’ll pop onto my phone mid-chapter, mid-sentence (Why? Idk.) While I’m not reading as much as I used to, I do find myself in a quieter, calmer headspace after reading even a few pages than I ever did scrolling on my phone. Also! Does anyone else feel like time slows down for them while they’re reading? My 30-min lunch break feels so much more restorative when I read than if I’m scrolling… (My “hack” for reading one book a month is coming up!)

• Evening:

  • This one’s harder, especially now that I’m working a job that requires a lot of socializing. When I come home, I’d love nothing more than to zone out and scroll for hours on end. One night, I found myself sitting in my car for nearly 30 minutes just…scrolling. And I realized I was avoiding going inside because I was overwhelmed. I was tired. I didn’t want to see the pile of dishes I needed to do or deal with my (very cute yet very needy) cats. But rather than addressing my overwhelm, I was masking it with scrolling. I was dissociating. So I called my boyfriend and explained how tired and overwhelmed I was and he encouraged me to come inside, change into my jammies, and watch my cartoons (Bluey is healing).

  • So now I swap phone time for a TV show or a movie or playing video games with friends if I have the social battery to do so.

So here it is, my hack for reading at least one book a month. Don’t be alarmed, there is some math ahead. Also, I’m kind of bad at math so it’ll be super embarrassing if somehow my math is wrong but here we go…

I estimate that I can read about one page a minute. A 10-min break = 10 pages. Average book is around 300-400 pages. 10 pages a day = 30-40 days for one book. Badabing badaboom, I’ve read a book in about a month. (Reading speed, book length, and attention spans may vary)

Is it a perfect system? No.

Do I do all of this every day? No.

Am I trying? Yes.

Am I being intentional? Yes.

I’m breaking what I perceive as unhealthy habits and trying to replace them with things that ADD to my life, not drain them.

Habits are hard af to break, but what matters is trying. It’s not about getting it perfect right out the gate, overnight. It’s about taking it one day—or one page—at a time. One day a week is better than zero. This is something I had to remind myself deep into my depressive seasons, when getting out of bed and brushing my teeth or taking care of any aspect of my personal hygiene felt like too much.

One step at a time.

Also, if anyone reading this wants to start a lil book or tv show club, I would absolutely love that.

Current reads/watches/games (and affiliate links) below (not Amazon!)

• Currently Reading:

  • Glow in the F*cking Dark by Tara Schuster (her first book “buy yourself the f*cking lilies” is my bible)

  • The Phoenix King by Aparna Verma (a POC sci-fi fantasy that feels like Dune, but I’ve never read or watched Dune, but it’s full of political intrigue and great world building. I just finished this so technically not a “current” read, but oh well)

• Currently Watching:

  • Arcane Season 2 over and over and over again (OH MY GOD?!)

  • Once Upon a Time (i know, i know.)

  • Teen Titans Go (you might have questions and i have no answers, sorry)

• Currently Playing:

  • Baldurs Gate 3 (who doesn’t love a good RPG specifically for the purposes of mindful escapism?)

    • Speaking of escapism–my co-podcast, Mental Health Multiverse, started as a way to talk about movies that helped us escape as children and now act as a safe place to internalize and process. Feel free to check it out! Co-hosted with Heather Boddy.